Else & Ilse | LGBTIQ+ adventurers

We love Cologne and we love living in Cologne. And we recently realized that it might be worthwhile for some of you to get to know our favorite spots. So this is part one of our favorite destinations in Cologne: Zündorf. A few weeks ago, when COVID-19 prevented us from doing anything that isn't outside, we decided to take one of our 'surprise trips' (we don't check what we'll find before going) to the end of one of our trolley lines —in this case line 7 to Zündorf. Crossing through several different parts of the city, the trip itself can be an adventure. When we took this trip on a sunny day in April, one person on our trolley rapped (yes!) about their current experience on being on the trolley. Another one had to finish their cigarette and then did a few chin-ups (and again: yes!). When we arrived, the place didn't seem too impressive. But as we know from a previous surprise trip: we had to be patient. About ten minutes from the trolley stop, we wer...

We recently told you that we got lucky enough to  meet on Tinder . We were texting each other for about two weeks when we finally had our first date at Else's favorite Thai restaurant in Cologne. We didn't make a reservation because the restaurant is often quite empty during the week. But not this time. So we decided to try a Burmese restaurant that both of us didn't know. (We were relieved when we realized that both of us need to use GoogleMaps to find places nearby.) The restaurant still has nostalgic values for us. Eight days later, we went on our second date.  (We can't believe that there was a time we voluntarily spent eight days without each other!) Ilse had never been to Cologne's Sculpture Park, an open air art gallery with new exhibitions every other year, so Else planned a date exploring the park and the area around it. It was just a week before carnival so she brought Berliners (filled pastry particularly popular during carnival) filled with egg liqu...

As a birthday gift for Else last year, Ilse planned and booked a trip to Belgium. So, mid-January, we got on our train (Else's first Thalys train ride!) to Brussels. Before our trip, Else, as a dedicated dinosaur lover, found out that the Museum of Natural Sciences in Brussels has an impressive dinosaur collection. So: off we were to meet our friends, the dinosaurs! The collection indeed was formidable, we probably killed a photo machine (we didn't do anything wrong!), and Else tentatively tried her French skills learned on Duolingo (unintentionally rude, but well ...). Another quick train ride away, we reached Bruges a few hours later. Ilse had booked us a fantastic hotel (even with an outside swimming pool —we hope to be back there in summer!) in the city center. During that time, we both were quite tired and exhausted and Bruges was the perfect place to relax —the city center is rather small and we could reach everything within half an hour from our hotel. Although the ci...

We've been together for more than a year now, but we still celebrate our monthversaries — with one exception. Last month, both of us were wondering whether it was a noteworthy day. Ilse twisted her mind: whose birthday is it? Else checked her calendar for birthdays of her friends. At some point we talked about it: Ilse: "I have the feeling today is a special day. It might be a birthday, but I have no idea whose it could be." (Else made a suggestion that turned out to be correct, but it wasn't a birthday we would ever celebrate.) A few days later, we realized what we forgot: our monthversary! Ever since we talked about being a couple and settled on a date (it almost never is just one day, is it?), we try to make this day a special one: we make each other small — usually handmade — presents, prepare surprises and/or go to an extravagant (more or less ...) restaurant. We spent one of our favorite monthversaries at an Israeli restaurant on the eighth floor with f...

As a bookseller, Ilse is always curious when books are published that don't serve the mainstream. Living in a world where—sadly—many children’s books still show their protagonists in stereotypical roles, we love that an increasing number of books prove that nowadays, people are thinking more outside the box. Above all, we love the trend to publish books about strong and independent girls or princesses who don't just wait for a prince to rescue them. The girls in these books are tough and ambitious and don't rely on the help of male friends (princes) to help them achieve their goals. Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls by Francesca Cavallo and Elena Favilli, for example, illustrates the stories of important and strong women in history who became famous for achieving their goals and being opinionated. But we don't want to say that there should be books like that only for girls. There is an equally great book for younger boys called Stories for Boys Who Dare to Be Diff...

As white persons born and raised in a Western European country, we are very privileged —more than most people in the world . But, at the same time, we are women and we are lesbians. We are from non-academic working/middle class blended families. We are not skinny. Still, we count ourselves lucky. We know that so many people struggle. Struggle with discrimination in so many ways, on so many levels. And we believe that society/societies should acknowledge these struggles. All of them are valid. Some struggle more, others less. Maybe, some people don't struggle at all. But we never know how severe a struggle is felt that we would disregard. We believe that it is important to share experiences of discrimination, that it is important to make these visible. Perpetrators should not be protected. Perpetrators should be called out. It should be normal to call them out. Both of us have experienced discrimination as a woman, as a lesbian, as a child from a non-academic working/middle...

Both of us are rather traditional when it comes to dating and romantic relationships. But it isn't easy to meet the right woman —even in a city as queer as Cologne. So  at some point, both of us decided to go for it: Tinder. (Else tried a few other apps solely for women but these didn't work at all : only a few women in our region were registered, even less seemed to be active —or interested .) From the beginning, many of our prejudices were confirmed. Both of us matched with women, apparently single and looking to meet another woman, who then asked us if it would be okay if their husband/boyfriend/best friend would join or, probably our favorite, "only watch." We also enjoyed a lot: "and, um, by the way: I'm in a relationship. I'm actually looking for some extra fun. I hope that's okay with you." -   "Um, no. It's not." We don't mind how others live their sexuality as long as everyone knows what they are getting into. But. ...

Traveling is an essential part of our lives —for both of us. For Ilse, traveling always was a leisurely activity. She explored Europe, mainly the southern and western parts like Spain, France, the Netherlands, Austria, and Great Britain. Her last trips without Else brought her to London, where she has friends and went to concerts —the Spice Girls and Madonna! Since she is scared of flying, she often tried (and still tries) to choose destinations that are not too far away: with short flight times or reachable by train—a very environmentally friendly way to travel! Nevertheless, she doesn't let her fear of flying stop her: she wants to explore the entire world! Our trip to  Portugal last year  was her farthest travel destination yet; our unfortunately canceled trip to Tel Aviv this March would have been her first intercontinental flight. Else loves to travel—as a vacation or for work. Like Ilse, she wants to travel the world, but got lucky enough to already explore a few co...

We love traveling, we love exploring, we love outdoor activities. But we barely have (or: had) the time for them! So, here's an upside to the COVID-19 restrictions of not seeing anyone, of not going to bars, restaurants, and clubs, of not traveling: we have more time for each other and more time for outdoor activities! (We  do not  want to downplay the pain, loss, and death this pandemic is causing — we just got lucky enough to enjoy some extra time.) These last few weeks, we have been hiking and exploring the nearby woods. It's incredible how beautiful they are in spring! Lush, green, the sun shining through the green treetops, rustling from last fall's brown leaves with every step. And most of the time, the woods are surprisingly quiet, with only a few people taking walks or hiking. The only thing missing these days, particularly for Ilse: ending the trip with a cool beer (or two) and maybe a snack at a beer garden. She wants her reward! Also, after years without ev...

Coming out of the closet is a difficult step for most of us. And it never ends: every time we meet someone new, a small coming out follows the first one. We know that this process can be difficult, particularly the first time: we are afraid how the people we love will react. And that's probably the most natural fear in our queer lives! Personally, we believe that we do not want people in our lives who do not accept us as who we are: women who love women (besides many other things). But this doesn't have to be your opinion. You might not want to come out to everyone to preserve relationships that are important to you. But in any case, make sure that you are safe before you decide to come out! Our coming out stories are quite different from each other and, at the same time, quite the same. For Ilse,  coming out was and still is a longer process. Looking back at her teenage years and her 20s makes a lot of things quite clear now: w hen most of her female friends fancied guys...

We love to read! As a bookseller, Ilse tries to have a broad insight and reads almost everything: crime thrillers, science fiction, romance, children's books, cookbooks, travel literature, social criticism — you name it. Both of us particularly enjoy social criticism books, stories about everyday life, books about queer experiences of life, intense stories, and travel literature. Else also reads fantasy novels and Stephen King since her childhood/youth and a diverse range of literature with her book club in Cologne. In addition, we recently joined a feminist book club online. Yet, we often struggle to find good queer books, so here are a few of our favorite ones: One of our favorite books is Less by Andrew Sean Greer. Less was published in 2017 and won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 2018. At the center of the story is Arthur Less, a gay writer, who travels the world to evade his former lover's wedding. The beautifully written story is charming, thoughtful, and funny an...

Last July and August, we went on our first vacation abroad as a couple. We wanted to travel to a warm country (Else loves the heat!), not too far away (Ilse fears flying and didn't have a passport until recently). We also wanted to go somewhere we both hadn't been to before. In the end, we decided to go to Portugal: a few days to Lisbon and, from there, a few days to Porto. As a very religious, Catholic country, we did some research before we traveled to Portugal and our first stop, Lisbon. We were surprised that queer rights in Portugal are said to be among the best in the world (!), but we also learned that queer people tend to be discreet in public — even though Lisbon and Porto celebrate pride parades. So, before we arrived in Lisbon (Ilse luckily survived the flight!), we had planned to be a bit more discreet. But: we suck at being discreet. Also: nobody seemed to care. We stayed at our hotels without being judged. We took the train from Lisbon to Porto without being ...

Welcome, dear visitors, to Else & Ilse . We invite you to look around, leave a comment or write a message, and come back in the future. A few months ago, we started an Instagram account where we share our 'adventures.' It started out as an account mainly for our travels and explorations, but it soon became more: we began sharing pictures and stories about everything important to us: intersectional feminism, queer rights and visibility, body positivity, and books! Here are some individual introductions that we would use to describe each other (not conclusive): Ilse is big-hearted (including frightening insects), emphatic, spontaneous, perfectly insane, funny, book loving, smart, adventurous, strong, open, curious, badass feminist, gorgeous, and a traveling superheroine. Else is so glad she chose to be with her! Else is a dinosaur-loving, gorgeous Wonder Woman! She is funny, so caring, considerate, sweet with the most gorgeous smile and a life changer, because...