Else & Ilse | LGBTIQ+ adventurers

"Ever had a threesome?" "Hello. Can we have sex all three? Are you active or passive during sex?" "I reduce stress by putting my 10 inches between two sets of lips like those." As probably every other lesbian couple, we regularly meet (well, 'meet') men who objectify us, who use us for their sexual fantasies. Living in Cologne with a rather diverse population—a recent study speaks of 10.6% queer identifying people in Cologne, while just 6.9% identify as LGBTQ+ in Germany's total population—we experience this objectification only occasionally. But as soon as we leave the city and travel in regions where queer people are less open with their sexuality and gender (or left for more open cities), sexual harassment, remarks, and salacious gestures are part of the experience. Representing our lives on social media has intensified this issue. Sometimes, we don't get any obvious messages or comments in days. At other times, we get a few within a day...

Ever since we started our Instagram account, we are harassed and objectified —mostly by men, but also by women. Our most recent encounter started with a simple "gross." We basically knew what this person meant, but we were curious: "what exactly?", we asked. Apparently, it's "SO FUCKING GROSS" to be lesbians, it's "haram" (forbidden by Islamic law), and god will put us in heaven. But the explanation and solution were simple: we can't find a man to love us ("you can't even have a child, dude"), but listening to the Quran would help us. Thanks, darling! Alternatively, we will be going to hell, as another person told us. It's so confusing! Other messages are usually less elaborate, do not offer solutions. One of our 'favorite' ones was just one line: "pee into my mouth, please." (This one was really polite!) Others directly or indirectly asked for a threesome (that's gross!). People (men and women)...

As white persons born and raised in a Western European country, we are very privileged —more than most people in the world . But, at the same time, we are women and we are lesbians. We are from non-academic working/middle class blended families. We are not skinny. Still, we count ourselves lucky. We know that so many people struggle. Struggle with discrimination in so many ways, on so many levels. And we believe that society/societies should acknowledge these struggles. All of them are valid. Some struggle more, others less. Maybe, some people don't struggle at all. But we never know how severe a struggle is felt that we would disregard. We believe that it is important to share experiences of discrimination, that it is important to make these visible. Perpetrators should not be protected. Perpetrators should be called out. It should be normal to call them out. Both of us have experienced discrimination as a woman, as a lesbian, as a child from a non-academic working/middle...